Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts: A Guide to CBT Skills

Have you ever noticed how one small thought can completely change your mood?

You get an email from your boss that simply says, “Can we talk?” and suddenly your mind jumps to: “I’m in trouble. I must have messed something up.” Your body tenses, your stomach drops, and the rest of the day feels heavier.

This is where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) comes in.

CBT teaches us that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected. While we can’t always choose what we think at first, we can learn to notice thoughts that lead us toward worry, self-criticism, or overwhelm, and gently challenge them.

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What Are “Unhelpful Thoughts”?

Unhelpful thoughts are automatic, meaning they “pop in” without warning.

The tricky part?

These thoughts often sound convincing, even when they’re inaccurate or overly harsh.

Some common examples include:

· All-or-nothing thinking: “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m a failure.”

· Mind-reading: “They didn’t text back; therefore, they must be annoyed with me.”

· Catastrophizing: “This mistake will ruin everything.”

· Self-blame: “This is my fault. It always is.”

These patterns are well-recognized in CBT research as automatic thoughts that often contribute to emotional distress and behavior patterns we wish to change. Learning to identify and evaluate them is central to CBT practice (Williams & Garland, 2002).

Pause for a moment: Can you think of a thought like this that shows up for you?

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Why Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts Matters

Unhelpful thoughts can:

· Increase anxiety and stress

· Lower mood and confidence

· Keep us stuck in avoidance or self-criticism

· Affect how we show up in relationships

CBT doesn’t try to force “positive thinking.” Instead, it helps us aim for more balanced, realistic thinking thoughts that are kinder and more accurate.

Research shows that CBT is effective at reducing unhelpful or dysfunctional thinking patterns. A meta-analysis of CBT for adults with depression found that CBT led to moderate and stable improvements in dysfunctional thoughts compared with control groups, and these changes were closely linked with improved mood outcomes (Cristea et al., 2015).

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A Simple CBT Skill: Thought Checking

Here’s a quick practice you can try next time you catch yourself in a negative spiral:

1. Notice the Thought

Write it down. Just this gives your brain space.

Ask:

· “What exactly was going through my mind just now?”

2. Check the Evidence

Not feelings - evidence.

Ask:

· “What supports this thought?”

· “What contradicts it?”

For example: Thought: “I’ll embarrass myself in that meeting.” Evidence for: I felt nervous last time. Evidence against: I was prepared, people respected my contributions, I practiced.

This helps you shift from automatic reaction to curious investigator.

3. Try a Balanced Thought

A balanced thought isn’t forced optimism; it’s a fair assessment.

Instead of: “I’ll fail.”

Try: “I’m nervous, but I’ve prepared and can do my best.”

Notice how your feelings shift just a little? That’s the goal.

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Quick Practice You Can Do Today

Use this short format the next time one of those thoughts comes up:

1. Situation: What happened?

2. Thought: What automatic thought popped in?

3. Feeling: What did you feel?

4. Evidence For/Against: What supports vs. contradicts the thought?

5. Balanced Thought: What’s a more helpful way to look at this?

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A Gentle Reminder

Challenging unhelpful thoughts is a skill, not a quick fix. Some thoughts are deeply rooted and connected to past experiences, stress, or trauma. If you notice the same patterns showing up repeatedly, working with a therapist can help you explore them safely and at your own pace.

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If you’re curious about learning more or want support in practicing these skills, our therapists at Aligned Minds are here to help. You don’t have to untangle unhelpful thoughts on your own.

CBT isn’t about judging your thoughts; it’s about understanding them. We, at Aligned Minds Counseling and Therapy. believe you deserve thoughts that support you, not ones that hold you back.

Reference:

Cristea, I. A., Huibers, M. J. H., David, D., Hollon, S. D., Andersson, G., & Cuijpers, P. (2015).

The effects of cognitive behavior therapy for adult depression on dysfunctional thinking: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 42, 62–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2015.08.003

Williams, C., & Garland, A. (2002). Identifying and challenging unhelpful thinking. Advances

in Psychiatric Treatment, 8(5), 377–386. doi:10.1192/apt.8.5.377.