Understanding Women’s Anger: What It Means and Why It Matters

Psychotherapy Perspectives on Emotional Expression and Mental Health 

Description: Explore how women’s anger is often misunderstood and diverted, how it affects mental health, and how therapy can help. Learn about healthy anger expression. 

Why Women’s Anger Is So Often Misunderstood 

Suffragettes- 1900s

In the early 1900s, suffragette Alice Paul went on a hunger strike to fight for women’s voting rights. Instead of being praised, she was called “hysterical” and “unfeminine.”  Civil rights leaders like Rosa Parks and Angela Davis were labeled “unstable” or “irrational.” The same pattern happened during the #MeToo movement—many critics described women’s anger as attention-seeking or overreacting.  

In popular movies and tv series, women expressing anger are often represented in stereotypical archetypes such as the “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”, the “Angry Black Woman” or the “Hysterical Mother”. 

Misunderstanding women's anger 

These reactions show us something important: women’s anger is often seen as a threat, or as an illness, rather than a valid emotion. This view affects how women express anger—and that can have real effects on mental health. 

Why Emotions Like Anger Matter 

Emotions are like internal warning signs. They tell us what’s happening inside and help us decide what to do. Experts say emotions have a survival function—they help us act in ways that protect us or bring change. 

What Is Anger? 

According to the American Psychological Association, anger is a feeling of frustration or hostility toward someone or something that has wronged you. 

Anger can help you: 

• Express emotional pain 

• Set boundaries 

• Stand up for yourself 

• Push for social change 

  
  

The Difference Between Anger and Aggression 

Anger ≠ Aggression 

People often mix up these two, but they’re not the same: 

• Anger is a feeling 

• Aggression is an action that tries to control or harm others 

Aggressive behaviors might include: 

• Yelling or insulting 

• Hitting or breaking things 

• Intimidation or threats 

Expressing anger in a non-aggressive way—in relationships and in therapy—can improve emotional and physical health. 

Social Expectations: Why Women Suppress Anger 

In Western culture, male anger is often seen as confident or powerful. But when women show anger, they’re often judged as: 

• Emotional 

• Unstable 

• Difficult 

• “Too much” 

Because of this, many women learn to: 

• Push down their feelings 

• Apologize for being angry 

• Hide their needs to “keep the peace” 

This can lead to emotional distress, including depression, guilt, and self-doubt. 

Common Causes of Anger in Women 

While every person’s experience is unique, some common triggers for anger in women include: 

• Power imbalances in relationships or at work 

• Discrimination based on race, gender, or sexual identity 

• Unacknowledged emotional labor in family or caregiving roles 

These experiences can create a deep sense of injustice and frustration. 

How Women Express Anger Indirectly 

Because direct anger is discouraged in women, it often shows up in other ways. This is called diverted anger or anger redirection. 

Types of Diverted Anger in Women 

• Internalization: Turning anger inward; feeling shame or low self-worth 

• Segmentation: Emotionally “splitting off” parts of the self; leads to anxiety or numbness and resembles dissociation seen in individuals who have experienced trauma. 

• Externalization: Taking anger out on others, especially those with less power 

• Suppression: “Swallowing” anger to avoid conflict 

These coping strategies may protect women in the short term—but they often create emotional harm over time. 

Exploring Anger in Therapy 

Therapy helps people understand and express their anger in healthy, healing ways. There are two main approaches: 

1. Awareness and Expression 

This involves safely noticing and talking about anger. It can include: 

• Naming the feeling 

• Exploring where it shows up in the body 

• Understanding what triggers it 

• Releasing it in a calm environment 

  
  

2. Communication and Boundaries 

Learning how to express anger without blame or aggression is key. 

• Speak honestly about your emotions 

• Focus on your personal experience, avoiding blaming others 

• Set clear boundaries 

• Show respect while standing firm 

Responsible anger expression builds self-respect and improves relationships. 

Anger Is a Path to Healing 

Anger isn’t the enemy. When explored in therapy, it becomes a tool for: 

• Personal growth 

• Relationship clarity 

• Emotional strength 

By shifting how we think about anger—especially in women—we create space for emotional honesty and healing. 

Call to Action 

Struggling with unexpressed anger or emotional overwhelm?  Working with a therapist can help you understand your feelings, set boundaries, and express yourself with confidence. 

👉 Ready to begin? Contact Aligned Minds Counselling and Therapy to start your journey! 

References: 

  Cox, D., Stabb, S. and Bruckner, K. (2016) Women’s Anger. 1st edn. Routledge. Available at: https://www.perlego.com/book/1554483 (Accessed: 14 May 2025). 

American Psychological Association. (2025). Anger. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger